What is it that causes to lose joy in the things we once found passion in? Why do the books we used to read, the movies we used to watch, the games we used to play, and the music we used to listen to suddenly become a chore? Is it simply part of the “getting older” part of life? Maybe we’ve just found new passions that deserve our time? Or maybe deep down we still love the things we once did…but we can’t tap into it at the moment.
That’s how I currently feel. All the things I once loved seem to bring me little to no joy now, no matter what I do.
The video games I play are boring. I find no interest in listening to new music. The shows and movies I want to watch, nothing seem good.
No matter what it is, I can’t bring myself to actually committing to anything. There’s so many things I’d love to do, so many things I’d love to try, so many things I’d love to learn…but yet I can’t bring myself to do anything.
I’d much rather sit around and watch the same YouTube videos I’ve seen a hundred times…and why?
Is it simply because it’s the easiest thing I can do? Is it because I’m scared of trying something new just to fail, or not enjoy it?
Or is there something even deeper than that?
That’s something I’d love to learn, but at the moment it seems just out of reach of me.
I want to enjoy these simple pleasures of life…but I just can’t. Even when I tell myself it’s something I like, I can only stick to it for maybe an hour or so, before I become bored.
But the question is, am I really bored? Or is it just a away for me to hide the pain I’m feeling? A way for me to hide the embarrassment I feel from not having the life I believe I should have at this point?
What is the reason? What is the solution? What is the goal? Why, why, why, why, why…why must I not know?
Please tell me the answers, as the only reason I wish to know, is so that I can live the life I envision.
And rememeber: no matter how dark the night gets, the sun will rise again.
Take care